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Manager Baffled That Reality Does Not Conform to Expectations

There was confusion at top analytics/cosmetics startup Just Made Up today when it was discovered that reality did not necessarily conform to the expectations of management. Photo by Guillermo Ferla on Unsplash

Team Member Is Not on Mute, Just Not Interested in Meeting

A common situation in today’s working world was finally explained this week when it was revealed that the non-responsive team member in your meeting is not on mute, they’re just not interested in your interminable meeting.

Panopticon Design Makes Perfect Office Layout

Scientists have discovered the perfect office layout to enable round-the-clock monitoring of employees’ every move. The Panopticon Office allows a small number of executives to constantly observe a large number of employees and ensure they feel unable to stray from their assigned behavioral patterns.

Productivity Word Salad Sustains Manager Through Tough Day

A high-level manager has survived another harrowing day at work with a nourishing word-salad of meaningless productivity terms. Things were looking grim earlier this morning for the Head of Tail Optimisation at top productivity start-up ProductPhasia, when it appeared that some real work might actually be unavoidable this time.

Worker’s Deep Focus State Wiped Out by Helpful “Focus Time” Reminder

In the latest battle on the global War on Attention, one worker’s deep focus state has been obliterated by a well timed attack from a “Focus Time” calendar reminder. Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash

User Requirement Escapes From High Security Bounded Context, Now on the Loose

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ouija Board More Effective Communication Tool Than Video Calls

Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

Company Discovers Perfect Notification Frequency to Optimally Destroy Productivity

Photo by Fernando Hernandez on Unsplash

Say These 7 Words to Ignore Your Employees' Humanity

Imagine that one of your highly valued employees trots into your office and says “Boss, we’ve got a big problem!” The employee is acting as if you care about their experience as a human being.

Exciting Startup Is Hiring en Masse to Make Up for Horrible Engineering Choices

An exciting startup that is disrupting the disruption industry is trying to hire as many engineers as it can as fast as possible, to compensate for horrible engineering decisions made at an earlier stage.