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Innovative Tech Unicorn Invents Concept of Lunch Break

There were thrilling scenes today as brave new startup Just Consume invented the idea of taking a break at lunch. The groundbreaking concept looks set to disrupt the incumbents in patronising employees and micro-managing as much of their existence as possible.

New Acronym Will TNT Your DNA and BCC Your STD

A new AAA-grade acronym is set to TNT your DNA and BCC your STD. Like an ICBM from the CEO going B2B to the CIA, this high-ABV terminology will make your problems GTFO and stay AWOL 24/7.

New “Sticking-Plaster-as-Service” Product Will Solve Your Team’s Problems

There was widespread excitement in the tech industry today with the launch of the latest Sticking-Plaster-As-Service product that will apply trivial surface fixes to fundamental problems that your team is trying to cope with.

Engineer Becomes Human Glue Keeping System Together Behind the Scenes

Top computer scientists have discovered new evidence of a software engineer spotaneously turning into “human glue”, the previously unexplained secret ingredient that allows most if not all software systems to function.

Engineering Team Successfully Goes Faster for Five Minutes, Slower for Six Months

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Manager Replaced With Markov Chain in 2007, No-One Noticed

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Engineering Team Discovers That Magic Scaling Database Does Not Scale Magically

There was widespread shock and confusion across the tech industry today, as a hot tech startup discovered that the Magic Scaling Database they selected six months ago does not scale magically.

Engineer Pleased to Find That Code From Six Months Ago Was Made as Complicated as Possible

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Engineer Saves One Hour a Year With Fifteen Hours of Automation Work

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Tech Bro Sneers at Rival Start Up’s Tech Bro Culture

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