The Most Brilliant Tech News™
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Imagine that one of your highly valued employees trots into your office and says “Boss, we’ve got a big problem!” The employee is acting as if you care about their experience as a human being.
An exciting startup that is disrupting the disruption industry is trying to hire as many engineers as it can as fast as possible, to compensate for horrible engineering decisions made at an earlier stage.
There were thrilling scenes today as brave new startup Just Consume invented the idea of taking a break at lunch. The groundbreaking concept looks set to disrupt the incumbents in patronising employees and micro-managing as much of their existence as possible.
A new AAA-grade acronym is set to TNT your DNA and BCC your STD. Like an ICBM from the CEO going B2B to the CIA, this high-ABV terminology will make your problems GTFO and stay AWOL 24/7.
There was widespread excitement in the tech industry today with the launch of the latest Sticking-Plaster-As-Service product that will apply trivial surface fixes to fundamental problems that your team is trying to cope with.
Top computer scientists have discovered new evidence of a software engineer spotaneously turning into “human glue”, the previously unexplained secret ingredient that allows most if not all software systems to function.
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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
There was widespread shock and confusion across the tech industry today, as a hot tech startup discovered that the Magic Scaling Database they selected six months ago does not scale magically.